A unity ceremony is a lovely way to incorporate a visual reminder of the vows and promises you made to each other, a visual joining of your lives into marriage. It is also a nice way to break up the standing in your ceremony, giving you a moment to move, to do something together.
Stone Ceremony;
A basket of stones are set next to an empty “gathering” container; the guests are asked to hold a stone, wish a kind thought and place said stone into the gathering container, if the stones are large enough the guests may write their name on it. The stones are then set in a place of honor in the couple’s home or garden. During the ceremony the couple will each hold their own stone and think their own kind thought and place them in a container .
Ring Warming;
Your wedding rings are placed in a box or decorative baggie and at the beginning of the ceremony we announce that we will be doing a ring warming ceremony. As we pass your rings we ask that each person hold the rings briefly, place a kind thought upon them and pass them onto the next guest. When we do the ring exchange we remind the couple that the wedding rings you will wear have been so blessed by each of your guests today and we hope that in years to come when you look at your rings you remember your guests with love and kindness. – Alternatively you can pass them through the wedding party and front row only. Your best man or person will “tend the rings” when passed, following them row by row, assisting as needed.
Wine Box/Love Letter;
You are asked to write each other a love letter and bring them on the day of your wedding along with a bottle of wine placed in a decorative box. During the ceremony we explain that you have written a love letter to each other and today you will place these love letters into the box that also contains a bottle of wine (or whisky or whatever you choose) the Box should be opened on your 5th wedding anniversary so you may reflect on the love you hold. However, there is only one other reason the box should be opened before your anniversary. If there should come a time when you hit a bumpy road in your relationship, before you give up or make any irrational decisions, open the Wine Box. Have a glass of wine and read those love letters, the sentiments you wrote will bring you back to even ground.
Sand Ceremony;
You will bring with you two vessels of sand and one empty vessel to pour the sand into. I suggest bringing sand from your childhood homes, places you love or often visit – make it personal.
During the ceremony you will take turns pouring your sand into one container creating a visual reminder of the joining of lives on your wedding day.
Unity Candle;
The tradition comes from church weddings. Two taper candles are lit by two people you choose, you moms, close friends anyone you like. During the ceremony we will talk about uniting your two flames into one and together you will take the taper candles and light the one unity candle. – keep in mind weather and location, wind is not your friend for this one.
Chocolate Sharing;
Like relationships and human beings chocolate comes in many different types and flavors. On your wedding day you will each choose your favorite chocolate and you will take a bite of your own piece and then take a bite of your partners thus showing your ability to share in life all that is good and sweet.
Hand Ceremony;
You are asked to join hands as I or someone of your choosing reads the following:
These are the hands of your best friend, young and strong and full of love for you, that are holding yours on your wedding day as you promise to love each other today, tomorrow and forever.
These are the hands that will work along side yours as together you build your future.
These are the hands that will passionately love you and cherish you through the years, and with the slightest touch will comfort you like no other.
These are the hands that will hold you when fear or grief temporarily comes your way.
These are the hands that will countless times wipe the tears from your eyes, tears of sorrow and tears of joy.
These are the hands that will tenderly hold your children.
These are the hands that will give you support and encouragement to chase down your dreams.
These are the hands that will hold you tight as you struggle through difficult times.
These are the hands that will give you strength when you need it.
These are the hands that will lift your chin and brush your cheek as they raise your face to look into eyes that are filled with overwhelming love for you.
And lastly, these are the hands that even when wrinkled and aged will still be reaching for yours, still giving you the same unspoken tenderness with just a touch.
“Tying” The Knot
Many couples historically held a “handfasting” as a wedding tradition; in which the officiant binds or wraps the bride’s and groom’s hands together (usually with ribbon or cloth) to symbolize the joining of families and the blending of cultures. It can also express the pure, simple beauty of two souls coming together for eternity. Your moms or special people will both present you each with a piece of thick ribbon – There are a few variations on how to do tying the knot – you can learn how to tie a Fishermans knot, you can simply have your hands wrapped in the ribbons, you can wrap hands in ribbons and then tie one knot below hands to represent the two families becoming one. You can also hang the knot somewhere in your house and tie a new knot each year on our anniversary in remembrance of your special day.
The Rose Ceremony
The Rose Ceremony is simple yet profoundly moving. The couple exchange two red roses, symbolizing the giving and receiving of their love for each other throughout their entire married life. The Rose Ceremony also conveys how to use the rose and its symbolism in difficult times in order to forgive each other.
“Your gift to each other for your wedding today has been your wedding rings – which shall always be an outward demonstration of your vows of love and respect; and a public showing of your commitment to each other.
You now have what remains the most honorable title which may exist between a man and a woman – the title of “husband” and “wife.” For your first gift as husband and wife, that gift will be a single rose. In the past, the rose was considered a symbol of love and a single rose always meant only one thing – it meant the words “I love you.” So it is appropriate that for your first gift – as a married couple – that gift would be a single rose.
Please exchange your first gift. In some ways it seems like you have not done anything at all. Just a moment ago you were holding one small rose – and now you are holding one small rose. In some ways, a marriage ceremony is like this. In some ways, tomorrow is going to seem no different than yesterday. But in fact today, just now, you both have given and received one of the most valuable and precious gifts of life – one I hope you always remember – the gift of true and abiding love within the devotion of marriage.
_________ and _____________, I would ask that where ever you make your home in the future – that you both pick one very special location for roses; so that on each anniversary of this truly wonderful occasion you both may take a rose to that spot both as a recommitment to your marriage – and a recommitment that THIS will be a marriage based upon love.
In every marriage there are times where it is difficult to find the right words. It is easiest to hurt who we most love. It is easiest to be most hurt by who we most love. It might be difficult some time to words to say “I am sorry” or “I forgive you”; “I need you” or “I am hurting”. If this should happen, if you simply can not find these words, leave a rose at that spot which both of you have selected – for that rose than says what matters most of all and should overpower all other things and all other words. That rose says the words: “I still love you.” The other should accept this rose for the words which cannot be found, and remember the love and hope that you both share today.
__________ and ________, if there is anything you remember of this marriage ceremony, it is that it was love that brought you here today, it is only love which can make it a glorious union, and it is by love which your marriage shall endure.”
Wine Sharing
You will bring two bottles of wine usually a red and white and 3 glasses. The blending of the wines represents your joining of lives in warm spirit.
“Michelle and Chris, will you each pick up your glass and bring to mind your promises, the honor and integrity with you have made them and your shared hopes and dreams… and toast to one another.Couple raise their glasses toast and drink And will you offer of yourself and your promise to the center glass….. couple will pour some of their wine into the center glass If you will now pick up the center glass, the one that was just an empty vessel before the strength of your promises to one another, and drink of one another’s vow, of your shared commitment and take these in that they as your marriage may become a part of who and what you are. Couple will then together pick up the center glass, and drink from it as celebrant continues, “As the wines in the glass have intermingled their essence so do your spirits join as you drink of each others love. Neither of you shall ever again thirst for total Love, understanding, or companionship, for as food and drink nourish the body so does Love nourish the soul. In this manner so shall each of you be as sustenance to the other.”
Jumping The Broom Ceremony
African Tradition Jumping the broom is a ritual that goes back in time to the ancestral roots African Americans who wanted to honor their unions when they could not afford to legally marry. This ritual symbolizes the sweeping away of old former single lives, past problems, and previous cares. Jumping the broom symbolizes the crossing of a threshold and the leaping of faith into a new relationship.
During the ceremony after pronouncement, the Officiant says:
Starting a new life with another person requires a “leap of faith. This broom represents a threshold. ____&_____, although still individuals, will begin a new life together. Jumping over the broom represents crossing this threshold into new territory; a life vitally connected to another’s. They leave behind the past and jump into the future together secure in their love. The leap they take over the broom is also symbolic. By taking the leap, they make a gesture of dedication to working together through the tough times ahead, as well as the easy times. Please count with me now and shout with joy as they perform their first act of working together as husband and wife: 1, 2, 3, jump! ~ Hurray!!
Truce Bell
A bell is rung on the wedding day and then placed in their home. During an argument, one of them can ring the truce bell to remind them of the happiness of their wedding day and to end the disagreement quickly.
Ribbon Ceremony
Angel and John will now share their vows using 5 ribbons.
The first ribbon is Green, representing the foundations of your relationship and the material world you share together. As you tie the green ribbons onto the other’s wrist, you make these promises:
“You promise to live with each other always and to share all in the material world you have with each other. You promise to be dependable and to aid each other in growing and healing.” -You may now each take the green ribbon.
The Orange ribbon represents intellect and communication. As you tie the yellow ribbons onto the other’s wrist, you make these promises:
“You promise to communicate as clearly as you are able, to share your thoughts, hopes and dreams, as well as your fears and insecurities. You promise to be open to hear each other whether the words bear good news or bad.” -You may now each take the orange ribbon.
The Red ribbon represents the passion and warmth in your relationship. As you tie the red ribbons onto the other’s wrist, you make these promises: “You promise to openly express your love and to share yourself with the other completely. You promise to love each other unconditionally and without hesitation. You promise to laugh together in times of joy and comfort each other in times of sorrow.”
You may now each take the red ribbon.
The Blue ribbon represents the emotions and the fresh start in your lives together today. As you tie the blue ribbons onto the other’s wrist, you make these promises: “You promise to always consider the others feelings when making decisions. You promise make your relationship a priority above all else. You promise to both apologize and forgive in every fight as you each play a part in all actions and communications together.” -You may now each take the blue ribbon.
The White ribbon represents the spiritual and philosophical in life. As you tie the white ribbons onto the other’s wrist, you make these promises: “As everything in life is a circle, so is your love. There is no beginning and no end. You have been here before, and someday you will return. You are two, and you are the same. Today and forever, with these White ribbons you promise this will never change.”
You may now each take the white ribbon.
-the ribbons can be worn the rest of the evening or slipped off when signing the license and placed on a plaque with a hook to be placed in the home as a visual reminder of your vows.
To include children:
Have an older child wheel the baby down the aisle in a decorated wagon. This can be done at the same time that the flower girl and ring bearer walk down. Decorate the wagon with tulle, fabrics and flowers. If your baby isn’t big enough to sit up, be sure to put her in something that is secure so that she will not fall out.
While the couple speaks the vows, allow the baby to be a part of it. Present the baby/children with a trinket, such as a small piece of jewelry, to formally show that the baby/children is as much a part of this new union as the couple.
Recite vows or a poem to the children/baby after you recite your own vows; speak to the love of joining a new family today.
Let your baby/children help with the sand ceremony. Since a baby cannot hold and pour the sand, designate a special vase just for him. While the mother or father holds the baby, have the wedding Officiant announce that the vase represents him as part of the family. Then the mother or father can pour the sand in the vase for the baby. Save a bit of the sand from that day and keep it in an enclosed vase to display in his room, up high on a shelf, as a keepsake for him to treasure for years to come.
Handfasting
Hand-fasting is a symbolic unity ritual in which a couple stand face to face as their hands are tied together – hence the phrase, tying the knot! As your hands are bound, you can recite words that express your commitment to one another. Handfasting rituals are associated with Pagan ceremonies, but are now often seen in secular, spiritual, and even some Christian ceremonies.